Challenges and Hazards
With American society and culture being what it is today, young people, both pre-adolescent children and post-adolecent teenage youth, are having to deal with a wide variety of challenges, difficulties, and problems in their young lives - much more so it seems than the young people of past generations. Along with the traditional worries about going to school, being liked by peers, and how to interact with the opposite sex, they now also have to deal with issues such as depression and anxiety disorders, bullying, gender identity confusion, gang violence, gun violence, social networking related self-esteem and self-worth issues, and a variety of beckoning addictions (e.g. video gaming, social networking, vaping, pornography, opioids and other drugs). As well as all of these issues, young people may fall victim to the various unhealthy and destructive spiritual beliefs, cultural messages, or celebrated life styles, which are often promoted and celebrated through some form of modern media.
However, there are some things that are available
that can help young people to avoid, or if necessary, successfully
deal with these various potential pitfalls. For instance, there are
various religious and government sponsored programs which are offered
to the public; for instance some which provide information on a
variety of topics particularly relevant to children and youth, such
as the dangers of vaping, or opioids, and others which offer
educational support, mental health counseling, or other services.
Yet, the most basic but nonetheless typically most effective form of
support and guidance that exists for young people is the one that has
been around the longest - the family unit.
Looking At Education
Taking the important issue of education as an example, the problem nowadays is that many young people now seem to be having great difficulties studying and getting a good education in school, and this is especially true for minority children and youth. Indicative of this is that high school reading and math proficiency, and graduation rates are near historic lows in many states across the country, including some relatively well to do states such as California.
Learning and the acquiring of good learning skills start at an early age, and studies show that there is an achievement gap among students in elementary schools, and that this gap is largely influenced by what happens with children during their pre-kindagarden period. This does not mean that a child's future is set at the pre-kindergarten period, but it does mean that what happens at that period will generally make it either easier or tougher for the child to do well in elementary school; and the reading and other skills they learn in elementary school form the most basic foundation for future learning in middle school, high school and beyond. If a child is substantially behind in their reading and writing ability by the time they are in third grade, then studies show that their chances of graduating high school significantly decrease, and their chances of having a future life of being involved in criminal activity significantly increase.
National and local governments agencies are able to offer some education related assistance for children during the pre-kindergarden period, particularly in the cases of single parent households by providing child care help, or related assistance. But the biggest help for children is typically a functional full family unit, that is, a child/children and their mother and father. A child's parents are the people who usually care the most about the well being and future of the child, and who together can give the child the optimum amount of attention, guidance, and rudimentary learning and study and social skills that bode well for their future. It should be noted that a child living with their mother in a divorced family, and having the father "in the child's life" is not comparable. In a similar manner having a child out of wedlock, whether the couple lives together or not, also creates a very different dynamic.
In countries which have students who are generally
high academic achievers and tend to finish on top in international
academic competitions, such as a number of Asian countries, news
reports and documentaries often focus on the amount of time per
day/week the students study, but what usually can also be noted from
these reports is that the students usually are part of an intact
household of one or more other siblings and a mother and father (i.e.
a full family unit).
The Marriage Contract
Of course, the seed of a full family unit is a marriage, but unfortunately, the idea for many Americans these days seems to be the modern idea that marriage is basically a contract between two people with the primary goal of finding self-realization and self-fulfillment. This, instead of thinking of marriage as the establishment of an expected lifetime loving and mutually committed relationship, and as critical human and societal institution. With the contract view, divorce is typically considered a viable and acceptable remedy if personal expectations in the marriage are not sufficiently met by the other party, and also for some other reasons. Notably while the marriage contract view is consistent with the holding of moral relativism, it is inconsistent with the biblical concept of marriage.
Consequentially, the contract perspective leads to one negative effect off the bat; it often causes people to not treat marriage with the gravity that it calls for. Instead of patiently and carefully trying to choose an appropriate and compatible mate, and considering marriage as an expected lifelong commitment, too often people seem to look upon marriage as a thing or a mechanism which will help them to become self-fulfilled, become happy, or as an escape from feelings of loneliness, pointlessness, or low self-worth, or as an escape from an undesirable living situation. As a result, the selection process of finding a suitable mate may become rushed and/or haphazard. and the person selected for a marriage partner may not really be compatible. But such behavior is rendered somewhat feasible and acceptable, since there is always the escape hatch of divorce if the marriage "doesn't work out".
Also, another negative consequence of the contract perspective is that instead of considering sexual relations as an enjoyable aspect of marriage, as declared in the Bible, people often decouple it from marriage, and may even instead make having sexual relations a criteria for choosing a marriage partner - and pre-marital sex in and of itself tends to lead to numerous problems for the parties involved, and often in one way or another for society itself.
From The Bible
1 Cor. 7:10 ,11- But to the married I command — not I, but the Lord — that the wife not leave her husband (but if she departs, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband not leave his wife.
Mal. 2:16 - For I hate divorce, saith Jehovah, the
God of Israel, for it covereth one's garment with violence, saith
Jehovah of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal
not treacherously.
Top Priority
The contract perspective also often seems to lead people to miss an even more important point about marriage: The understanding that a husband and wife's primary responsibility after they have children, then becomes the welfare of their children - not themselves, or even the acquiring of (more than an adequate amount of) money and material possessions.
Parental neglect of their children (ie. pre-adult
males/females), and even more so divorce, usually has serious
negative effects on them. The emotional damage that divorce causes is
often substantial. Such damage often manifests itself in a variety of
negative ways not only during the children's growth stages, but also
later after they have grown to be adults. There is also the daily
post-divorce disadvantage that the children are subjected to of being
looked after and cared for by only one parent instead of two. Though
in the media various voices seem to ignore or minimize the gravity of
the situation, being raised by only one parent does often lead to
numerous serious problems for the children. Additionally, many
studies have shown that when compared with full family units,
children of single parent households, particularly male children, are
much more likely to fall into the criminal justice system, and live
in poverty both as they are growing up and after they reach
adulthood.
Another, important bur not much publicized
related aspect of divorce involving children, is that if a divorced
spouse remarries or especially if the spouse lives with but does not
marry a new romantic partner, the children in such relationships
are roughly 5 - 10 times more likely to become victims of sexual
abuse than if they were members of a full family unit consisting of
their biological mother and father.
The Best Help
As with education, as part of a full family unit, children and young people are able to receive caring, instruction, and guidance from their parents concerning the issues and problems that they may have to deal with. A central part of that care being giving them a firm foundation for life by teaching them, and living God's word. Such care and guidance can help them to avoid falling into various hazardous situations, and destructive habits or behaviors.
With a full family unit both parents and children
enjoy being in loving and supportive relationships, with the husband
and wife caring for and supporting each other as they work together
to build up the family, and children growing up learning how to
interact with other people, and how to deal with the various life
issues and situations.
From The Bible
Eph. 6:4 - You fathers, don’t provoke your children to wrath, but nurture them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord
Prov. 6:20 to 22 - My son, keep your father’s commandment, and don’t forsake your mother’s teaching. Bind them continually on your heart. Tie them around your neck. When you walk, it will lead you. When you sleep, it will watch over you. When you awake, it will talk with you.
Mal. 2:15 - Did he not make you one, although he
had the residue of the Spirit? Why one? He sought godly offspring...
Towards Everyone's Success
Two basic but nonetheless effective guidelines can go far in helping Christians to have a successful marriage and family:
1) Carefully choose their perspective marriage
partner, following biblically sanctioned guidelines .
2) If
serious problems do manifest themselves in their marriage or family,
instead of trying to handle it on their own, or turning to divorce as
a solution, a couple should seek out a qualified and certified
counselor (Christian if possible), and/or a minister who is qualified
to deal with marriage and family issues.
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